


Tony's Secret

by flayed



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: BAMF Tony Stark, Body Worship, FrostIron - Freeform, I have no idea where this is going, Loki Needs a Hug, M/M, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Compliant, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark has a motor mouth, Tony Stark has a secret, possible dark!Tony on the horizon, schwarma fixes everything, uwu, worship kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 00:49:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15919569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flayed/pseuds/flayed
Summary: Tony Stark had a secret. He found places, lived on the edge, but it was never quite the edge he needed.Collab with Flayed.





	Tony's Secret

**Author's Note:**

> This is in collaboration with the wonderful Flayed who you can thank for all Loki content. Any and all mistakes (and abuses of commas) are my own. As this is ongoing, all I can tell you is there is much more to come. I will update the rating and warnings as necessary.
> 
> We hope you enjoy.

Tony Stark had a secret.

 

Sometimes it skimmed the surface of his consciousness like a rising wave but most of the time it remained down deep where he almost couldn’t reach it. 

 

It was there but not. At least at first. 

 

His secret was all too easy to ignore as the byproduct of an overactive mind in the beginning. Tony always sought stimulus, had always been an explorer pushing the envelope, and this was really no different. 

 

Except it was. 

 

It was different and bad and made him look at himself in the mirror and wonder if he was really as good as he pretended to be.

 

Tony never liked being wrong, especially about something so important. So he brushed the figurative work table clean and let the scraps fall to the floor where they only cut him sometimes when he wasn’t careful, when he didn’t keep himself busy with his friends or Pepper or inventing or being a hero or-- _ anything _ but that.

 

It was enough for a long time. Until, one day, Tony escaped the chains of fear that bound him. He had a lot more time to think after that. And then Pepper left him because she wanted him to  _ stop _ and he couldn’t nor did he want to. 

 

Tony had even more time. Then came the matter of his friends or, no, the Avengers were more like family. Which was why when he was left to die in an ice cold Siberian bunker, betrayed in the worst way by the one who was supposed to be the most honorable of them all, his secret hit him hard.

 

After all, it was the only thing he had left.

 

Tony lived, but he was alone and purposeless. Pepper didn’t come back. Bruce was in the wind. He didn’t really want to see the rest, except Rhodey, but even then his secret wouldn’t leave him be. It was there just under his skin every waking moment and when he slept, he  _ dreamed _ . 

 

Tony dreamed of the Battle of New York and without all the fear and confusion in play, everything was much clearer to him. There was a moment, or rather a series of moments that unearthed something raw and primal and undefined in him. Stripped bare of right and wrong, Tony enjoyed the chase, the adrenaline, the heights to which the real fight took him. His life on the line. His throat in the hands of a god. Through it all, Loki’s voice like a sensuous undercurrent no matter the words he spoke or what Tony said to him.

 

Tony liked it. He liked Loki. He liked his life in Loki’s hands. He would even go so far as to say he’d be willing to give it now. Not then, of course. But now, when things are most clear to him, he can be honest with himself if no one else.

 

Tony thought it might have been the scepter at work. Maybe some kind of residual effect. But after analysis and testing--he even put up with several former Avengers to get all the information he needed--he concluded that he wasn’t being controlled by anything except his deepest, darkest desires. Which was a real shame because he’d never been very good at denying himself anything no matter what anyone thought and after his life went epically sideways he couldn’t say he even had a reason to anymore. 

 

It was a good thing Loki was nowhere to be found and likely never coming back. 

 

Tony found a lover who looked very similar--although, as Loki himself had once said, there were no men like him. The guy was too  _ nice _ and  _ giving _ and Tony didn’t need that. He needed something more raw. He needed the danger, someone who could take Tony’s life in hand and laugh. Someone who would make him beg and degrade himself. Someone who would punish him. Someone who would  _ free _ him. Someone he could worship in return.

 

Tony found places, lived on the edge, but it was never quite the edge he needed. So, he decided to take up another hobby in astrophysics. And if Friday just so happened to have all of Jane Foster’s research and the data on the Tesseract for him to study, well, it was all hypothetical really.

 

Until it wasn’t. Until Tony understood the so-called “magic” behind the Bifrost. Until he was ready to test it. 

 

But part of Loki’s appeal was in his spontaneity and, for Tony at least, Loki showing up in New York with Odin in tow was one hell of a surprise--and one he wasn’t about to share with anyone. 

 

Tony told himself it was a good thing for Loki and himself and, really, everyone involved, that he’d had Friday systematically erase every photo, word, or whisper of him from the record books. Tony’d kept it all, of course. Everything of SHIELD’s, mostly. They’d been working on tracking Loki’s magic, which was how he was able to find Loki to begin with, though he wasn’t about to let on about that part. 

 

Tony really was very good at keeping secrets and he very much wanted this one safe from oh, the entire world. More importantly, he wanted to  _ do _ something about it. Something for Loki. He wouldn’t expect anything in return, but hey he’d take it if offered.

 

Tony donned the suit and watched and waited until Loki finished with--apparently--dropping Odin off at retirement home. He landed behind Loki and the first thing he noticed before the other man whirled to face him was his perfect hair. Tony kept that bit to himself.

 

“So, dropping off daddy--I mean, I'm assuming--that is Odin, right--on little ol' Earth, huh?” The words tumbled out almost of their own accord in typical high speed. 

 

“Stark. Perfect.” Loki hitched an irritated breath. “Is there nothing I can do on Midgard that does not involve having to deal with you lot?” 

 

“Uh, no. Not reall--you have to ask? Honestly? Right here in New York?  _ My _ city?” Tony couldn’t help but laugh. And that really wasn’t good since he was still in the suit and it sounded all tinny and also, this was  _ not _ how he imagined things going. Tony pushed his nervousness aside and reminded himself that Loki did not know his secret. That no one did. Only him. And it was going to stay that way if he could possibly help it.

 

“Oh, please...as though that were impressive in the slightest.” Loki propped a hand on his hip and stared Tony down, though not in the way Tony wanted. Not really.

 

“Surprise, at least. I’ll take that.” He was still chuckling a little but stopped when Loki rolled his eyes.

 

“Well, by all means. Take that meager victory. Consider it a donation.” Loki spun on his heel and made to walk away. 

 

“Leaving already? I might get my feelings hurt, you know?” Tony clanked down on the ground and started to walk after Loki. “Big, tall, handsome god ignores you--kind of sets the mood for the day.”

 

“Bold of you to assume I give a damn.” Loki didn’t so much as turn his head, but merely kept walking--to  _ where _ Tony didn’t know, but he followed.

 

“Seriously, Lokes. Or Lokester? Which do you prefer? Anyway, this Asgardian family drama playing out here? What’s up with that?” Tony had several ideas and none of them good. Regardless of his little secret, he wasn’t about to let this go unchecked even if he was the only person who knew about it.

 

“Remind me why that should be any of your concern.”

 

“Protecting Earth is kinda my thing, remember? And it’s just a hypothesis, but I’m seeing that--” Tony pointed in the general direction of the retirement home even though Loki was decidedly not looking in his direction. “--could in theory hit the fan. So, I’m here to offer my help--odd as that may sound.”

 

“Is that right? Your  _ help _ .” Loki half turned toward him with one elegant eyebrow raised high. “Of what nature might that be, Man of Iron?” His voice was dripping with sarcasm but Tony didn’t let it faze him. He was used to dealing with this type of ego. Hazard of the job.

 

“I’m pretty good at a lot of things. That’s obvious. So, I’ll need you to tell me how I can best do that. Need to keep him shielded from say, brawny older bro? I’m your guy. Just for instance.” Tony spoke with steady confidence. It was kind of ironic that here he was offering his assistance to the one person on the planet wouldn’t appreciate it but, Tony thought,  _ them’s the breaks. _

 

Loki stopped dead in his tracks and spun to face him and Tony could tell even before the man spoke that he’d hit a nerve. “You think my own methods inadequate?” 

 

Tony opened his mouth, but Loki cut him off. 

 

“Tell me,  _ Stark _ ,” he said, with predatory amusement in his tone. “You think yourself on the same level as a god?” And there was that trademark smirk, the one that sent a shiver down Tony’s spine every time. “It’s a surprise your head fits into that narrow helmet of yours. Or perhaps that is the root of the problem--tight, is it?”

 

Tony fought down the urge to smirk back and won. He bit down on his tongue to hide his amusement but couldn’t help putting a hand to his head for a moment. “Trust me, I get it. You’re the best. The bomb. Amazing. God tier. Wow. But Lokes, you really ought to take a hand when it’s held out to you.”

 

“I do not require it. Find someone else,” came the clipped reply.

 

“What have you got to lose? Seriously.” Tony shrugged a shoulder. “You know what, how’s this? Let me take you out to dinner and we can talk about it. I know all the best places.”

 

“Have you seriously nothing better to do than waste my time?” Loki deadpanned. It struck Tony then how odd it must seem from his end. Then again, there was something unusual happening here. Something good if he played his cards right.

 

“Wow. Hurt. Do you know how many people would kill to spend time with me? Okay, but putting that aside, why would I bother wasting my  _ own _ time? You know, I’m a busy man and I wouldn’t spend time with someone I didn’t find worthwhile.” Tony was doing nothing but telling the truth to the guy and he could see from Loki’s expression that he was considering it. Tony had the nanites pull back from his face and offered Loki his award winning smile.

 

“Have you had the schwarma?”


End file.
